Challenges
by Emmy
Summary: Hermione is working on a project that may chance the world, but she needs help, and only the very best can help her (Severus/Hermione - set 11 years after Hogwarts graduation) 24/02/02 minor correction to chapter 6
1. Intro

Challenges ****

Challenges

It was January and freezing cold outside Tara's University for Advanced Witchcraft and Wizardry in Ireland, but Dr. Hermione Granger was too exited to notice. It was in the middle of the night, one of those hours destined to be the time of a great discovery and she had been working day and night for the last 4 years to make one. Tonight would be perhaps be the night, it had to be… she was almost certain of it… 

With a small proud smile she looked at the test-tube she held in her right hand. If she was right…she had to be right this time…

Three drops of nightshade essence… a gentle shake…

Suddenly a violent hissing came from the tube and with a loud bang it exploded, a clear, foul smelling, bubbling fluid oozing over her gloves. 

With a frustrated scream she threw the remains of the tube against the wall. What had gone wrong!? her theory and the formula were perfect, they should work, they just had to…

With a sigh she took off her dragon hide gloves and her protective glasses. She sat down on the floor of her small laboratory and put her head in her hands. 

*I need help with this* she thought.

*I know the manuscript I found in Romania is authentic, this potion will change the world, don't tell me I gave up so much for nothing…*

She felt a lump forming in her throat, remembering exactly what she had given up; Victor, their engagement, her chance on happiness, perhaps even a family… Not that that was impossible now, but she was 28 and married to her research, there were not many men who could deal with being on a second place as long as she hadn't finished this project.

"No Granger, now is not the time to cry, just leave things as they are and start all over again tomorrow" she said to herself, forcing herself to be strong, but no matter how hard she tried, she felt tears of frustration softly sliding down her cheeks.

*Hmpf…start again tomorrow..like I haven't tried everything I could possibly think of yet* 

The very best potions and charms masters of this university and thus of the world had looked at the manuscript, worked with it and judged it impossible, but not Hermione. She knew she was one of the best and her inner feelings told her she was right, it had to be possible…but how?

Later in her quarters, when she was somewhat more relaxed, sipping a glass of an expensive red Rioja in a hot bath with a very elderly Crookshanks sitting at the edge of the tub she thought of the only possibility she had not tried out yet. It would mean not working with one of the best, but THE best when it came to potions… Too bad that when it came to social skills he was the worst you could get, and to be perfectly honest, after 11 years not seeing him he still made her feel VERY uncomfortable. 

It was 11 years since her graduation, and eleven years since she had last set foot in Hogwarts. Harry and Ron were still her best friends, but they both had their family now, with Harry as a proud father of two and Ron as a nervous wreck because his first born was due in a month. Needless to say that they didn't spend as much time together as they used too. Her dedication to her job not being one of the least reasons…

But if she worked there for a while they could spend more time together as they both lived in Hogsmeade… Harry in a nice old townhouse and Ron above Fred and George's shop, small but very cosy…

Hermione made her decision, she would go to Hogwarts tomorrow and talk with the headmaster first. He could talk to Snape that way things were easier and even more important; she didn't have to ask him… 

*******************************************************************

"What!? Why on earth would you want to work with Snape!?" Ron exclaimed. "He's as easy to work with as a king cobra!"

Hermione tried not to laugh at the shocked look of her childhood friend. "I do not like him any more than you do Ron, but it's important"

"Who's a king cobra" asked Harry's smiling face as he apparated in Ron's cosy living room.

"Harry, I tell you, that woman is insane! She wants to work with Snape out of her own free will, to work on some important ancient abracadabra"

"What kind of important abracadabra?" Harry asked seriously after giving Hermione a firm hug.

"Very important abracadabra, it's an ancient potion to reverse immortality, I believe it is the counter spell to the one Voldemort used in our fourth year, remember?"

"I wish I did not remember, I was there as Voldemorts special guest, in case you forgot". Harry said with a sad look on his face.

"But if you have a counter spell it means that…" he said looking suddenly very shocked

"Voldemort can be finally killed" Hermione stated

"My decision is made, this afternoon I'm going to Hogwarts"…


	2. An Unusual Conversation

Challenges ****

Challenges

Chapter 1 - An Unusual Conversation

Albus Dumbledore was sitting behind his giant antique desk, spectacles halfway down his nose and his arms folded in front of him. He eyed his guest with an amused curiosity, he had always expected great things from this particular ex-student, and this… this project she explained to him might finally shift the balance in the ongoing battle between light and darkness in their favour. No, she had not let him down.

"So Hermione, if I understand this well, you came here to talk about my Potions Master?" Dumbledore said, with a slight twinkle in his eyes.

Hermione swallowed, *Now! * She thought.

"Yes Sir, what I wanted to know is… I mean… Is professor Snape still…"

*Damn Hermione! You're not exactly 16 anymore, just say it for Gods sake* the little voice inside her head said. 

"Is Snape still our double agent, and are you absolutely positive that he is trustworthy?" she blurted out.

*There, I said it, now that wasn't too hard was it? * Hermione thought.

Prof. Dumbledore looked at her with a hint of disappointment in his eyes. 

"Hermione…" he started.

"I'm sorry, I have to ask this professor, but you have to understand that it is of the utmost importance for my project. If Snape turns out to be untrustworthy, our only chance in almost 12 years to defeat Voldemort is as good as gone" she stated, clenching her jaw in stubborn determination. 

Dumbledore sighed; he wasn't sure exactly how much he could tell Hermione without invading his old friend's privacy.

"My dear child, let me tell you a little bit about _Professor_ Snape, since it has been a very long time since you stood in his classroom. Attempting to brew glory, bottle fame and stopper death, as he so modestly puts it in his welcome speech for our new students every single year, for as long as I know him". Dumbledore said with a warm smile around his mouth.

Hermione regretted her insensitive enunciation, as she suddenly realised that Dumbledore felt quite amicable towards professor Snape, but hell, she was a scientist, known for her cleverness, her unorthodox thinking, and her formidable brain, but never ever for her sensitivity and gentleness with words.

"To answer your first question my dear: No, Professor Snape is no longer our spy in Voldemorts circle of followers, he was caught in the act so to speak and is very lucky to be able to tell the tale. However, he has made sure that the couple following him up had a proper training, and know what to expect, he is still active as their contact point and confidant whenever they feel the need to talk about all the things they have to participate in and have to witness". Dumbledore said while he was slowly walking towards Fawkes to give him some shelled peanuts.

"I'm sorry professor but I cannot imagine professor Snape as a confidant to anyone, perhaps with a few exceptions in Slytherin. I must say you managed to awaken my curiosity but I take it you are not willing to share who those two secret agents are". Hermione said.

Fawkes made a soft content sound when Dumbledore scratched his head, the headmaster himself seemed to be lost in thoughts.

"Professor?…" Hermione asked hesitantly.

Dumbledore sighed, he decided he could not tell her everything for the reason it would be going too far into Severus's private life, if she wanted to know she would have to ask the man himself.

"There are lots of things you don't know about the professor Hermione" Dumbledore continued, "But that is his story, and perhaps in due time he will tell you. Then again, perhaps not, but trust me, there are reasons why he is the way he is…" the headmaster said softly. 

"And personality is not the least of them". He added with a small grin, which was rewarded with a sour look from Hermione. She remembered very well exactly how the personality of her former Potions Professor was constructed. If she closed her eyes she could still see him walking down the corridors, billowing cloaks and all, sneer forever plastered on his face, shouting; "Ten points from Gryffindor!" 

Strange enough the image made her laugh out loud, though fifteen years ago, Snape and actually taking away points from Gryffindor because of her "disobedience" had made her cry on more than one occasion. 

"I see you haven't forgotten your Gryffindor days here at Hogwarts yet" Dumbledore said with a grin. 

"I remembered how Professor Snape always found a reason to deduct points from Gryffindor, it was one of our main concerns in those days. Sometimes when I think back I can't help but wonder why the world had to go on, I could have stayed in these halls forever. Never worrying about anything else than my grades, having a great time with Harry and Ron and staying out of the way of professor Snape, though not always entirely successful…" She said dreamily.

"In that case we have succeeded, We tried to give you youngsters a safe haven, It was a hard world outside these castle walls, when Voldemort came back…well… you've experienced it yourself the day your parents…"

"Prof. Dumbledore, we did not come here to discuss my past but my future, our future…, the future of the wizarding world if you like" She interrupted him 

*Ah, as I thought, there are still wounds that require healing under that stern exterior, would they realise they have more in common than they think?* Dumbledore thought. 

"Yes, well…back to your question about trust, I do not know another person of whom I would not hesitate to put my life and the lives of all living and working in this school in his hands. I trust him completely, forgive me that I cannot go any deeper than that into the matter, but it must be enough for you to know that I do not only consider him as trustworthy, but also as one of my best friends. Plus he's an excellent chess player and likes peppermint balls…, he is on our side Hermione, 498% certain."

He said, his eyes twinkling. 

Hermione nodded her head, feeling a bit ashamed because she should have known that Dumbledore would not work with someone for almost 25 years if he did not trust the man.

"As for the identity of our spies, I don't think it is a good idea to tell you until we are sure that the potion really works. Because that is the stage when we have to involve them in our project: they will have to get Voldemort to drink it…" He said softly.

"Very well professor, I trust your judgement, actually I am ashamed I did not trust your judgement right away…But will you talk to professor Snape for me?" Hermione said.

"I will certainly talk to Severus, but the question whether or not he wants to work with you and on what basis is entirely up to him. I suggest you go back to Hogsmeade and prepare for a healthy discussion. He will not give in to your conditions and arguments easily, that is, if he gives in at all… Expect your answer this evening and send my regards to Harry and Belinda, the Weasly gang and Ginny and Draco" Dumbledore said.

"I will headmaster, and thank you for your time" Hermione said while giving him a hug.

"No, thank you my dear, for giving an old man hope that this war will end one day".

********************************************************************

"And remember that time when Harry threw 3 dungbombs in Draco's cauldron!?" Ron shouted, tears of laughter streaming over his face.

"Only too well" Draco smirked, "As you said it was my cauldron, and my potion, I was glowing in the dark for an entire week"

"Which was rather unfortunate, because of your rather,… eeehrm… striking appearance, you couldn't see Ginny for the whole week. Afraid you got caught" Harry added with a wicked grin plastered on his face.

"Yes well, I was in no mood to be beaten up by 6 Weasly brothers…" Draco said laughing.

""Don't forget my mum" said Ginny, happiness was written on her forehead, which was only natural as she and Draco would get married next year. It would be a small wedding since Lucius Malfoy had disowned his oldest son as soon as he had found out that Draco was seriously dating a Weasly.

"My Love, your mother is more dangerous than all your brothers together, pray that she never insists on swatting my behind with a broomstick again"

"You deserved it ferret boy" Hermione said amicably

"Introducing yourself as "Hello my name is Draco Malfoy, I'm here for Virginia Weasly, can you tell mistress Weasly and Virginia that I have arrived?" George drawled in his best Draco imitation, after which he joined the rest collectively collapsing on the floor howling with laughter.

"Hey, I had a lot to learn ok? I was bloody nervous and I expected Ginny's mum to be a redhead, just like the rest of you Weasly lot! He said.

"That and the fact that you seriously expect to find several maids, butlers and housekeepers to obey your every whim" Hermione stated dryly.

"Expected" corrected Harry, still lying on the floor holding his stomach.

"They have been living together for 4 years now, and Draco I must say, you have passed your exams on how to be a human being". He added with a grin.

"Well, Thank you Potty, you are quite all right too, for someone who got caught dressing up like a girl" Draco smirked.

"Hey that was for the Carnival, it's a muggle thing, besides, Petunia's old clothes were all I got from the Dursleys, and it sounded as a good idea at the time…" Harry said.

"Yeah, whatever" Draco grinned, looking at the shocked faces of the Weasly twins. 

"Girls…." Hermione started laughing, but was interrupted by a loud bang on the window, which suddenly flew open allowing a black raven to fly in, bringing about half a gallon of rainwater with him. 

"It's for you Hermione" said George as he took the letter of the ravens outstretched claw, while giving him some crunchies.

"From who is it?" asked Ginny curiously.

"I don't know, said Hermione, but for some reason she couldn't explain she felt her heart thundering in her throat.

She unfolded the letter:

Miss Granger,

It seems we need to discuss some things

I expect you at 09.00 PM in The Three Broomsticks tonight.

As my time is precious, I trust you will not be late.

S.S.

"It's from Snape…" she said softly


	3. The Three Broomsticks

Challenges ****

Challenges

The Three Broomsticks

Hermione was standing in Rons and Katja's bathroom, preparing her self to what she thought was going to be a difficult evening. She was wearing a sleeveless black dress over-the-knee with a small split on her right leg and simple black over-robes. With skilled hand she applied a little make-up, not much, just enough to emphasise her strong points, namely her eyes and her skin and disguise her weaker points. 

"Going on a date, dearie?" The mirror asked.

"Not even close to it" replied Hermione while applying a natural shade of lipstick.

"Oh… well…, because if you were I would advise to wear something a little bit more, daring, you know… more… sexy"

"I didn't ask you for advice did I? And besides, the last thing I want is the person whom I'm meeting tonight to find me even remotely attractive" Hermione told the mirror sternly.

She always had to laugh about this mirror, for some reason it's voice reminded her strongly of her grandmother, a grand old dame who had sadly passed away the year she graduated from Hogwarts.

"Good, because if I didn't know any better I'd think you are going on a date" George's voice came from the door opening.

Hermione stifled a laugh. "George, I'm only going to try to convince the man to save the world, now in my experience that works better if I'm well-dressed, feeling good about myself and certain about my case, allow me have at least one out of three. Besides, this outfit also forces him to see me as twenty eight instead of seventeen"

"Feeling queasy about meeting your least favourite Hogwarts Professor?" informed George.

'Oh, he's not my least favourite, Sybill Trelawny wins that race by miles, but he's a good second… And yes, I feel a bit nervous, but that is only because I expect him to start sneering and shouting "Ten points from Gryffindor, Miss Granger" at me, the moment I walk into the Three Broomsticks".

"Don't worry you'll do fine, you're as scholarly as he is and he may look down on us, ordinary scum of the earth, but he can't look down on Hermione Granger, our own Doctor in Chemistry, Potions and Charms, and a very attractive woman at that" George grinned.

"Thanks George, but you'd even flirt with Hedwig, given a chance" Hermione said smiling.

"Who me!? Never! That hurts Hermione… You know I am a happily married man, I'd never flirt with another woman!…" he said quasi insulted.

"But I can tell them the truth…" he added with a wicked grin.

"Yeah yeah, you'd better wish me luck, I'll need it" Hermione said while stepping out of the bathroom.

"Good Luck, lass" said Fred while giving her a bear hug.

"Yeah, better don't send him our regards, I think he still hasn't forgiven us for turning him into a yellow canary in our graduation year" added George.

"Good Luck Hermione, see you tomorrow at breakfast, or perhaps not" grinned Draco.

"Will you stop it! The thought of even being near Snape makes my stomach turn, and not in a good way!" she exclaimed.

"Don't worry Herm he's just winding you up" said Ginny while she gave Hermione a good-bye hug.

"Yeah, probably he's jealous that he can't sit at one table with Snape and slime his way up the social ladder" Harry grinned.

"Watch it Potty!"

"Or what, you'll threaten to cuddle him to death?" asked Ron grinning.

"C'mon Malfoy, everybody knows you are just a real big blonde puppy…" he added.

"Yes, and a sick puppy at that" concluded Hermione.

"Anyway, I'm going, see you tomorrow at breakfast, and no Malfoy, I do not wish to hear anymore stomach churning jokes from you" she said, and with that last statement she disappeared, only to reappear just in front of the Three Broomsticks. It was 3 minutes to nine.

"Too bad, I just thought of a few pretty good ones" Draco smirked to no one in particular.

*********************************************************************

Hermione walked inside and looked around, it didn't take her too long to spot professor Snape at a table in the corner, close to the fire. True to him self, he was all dressed in black, sipping something that looked like a good, single malt Whisky. 

From where she was standing she could not see the difference between a cheap blend and for example a Laphroigh, if she saw any difference at all. But for some reason Snape and drinking anything less than an expensive quality was an image that clashed with the mental image she had of him.

She looked at him for a moment without letting him know that she was there. He looked different, older of course, though time had not entirely been unkind to him. His hair was shorter, as befitting a man of nearly fifty, and though it still was raven black, she could see a little grey at his temples. There were some extra lines on his face and while she thought they might have looked interesting on another man, they only pronounced the eternal sneer around his mouth and the cold blackness of his eyes. 

She took a deep breath and walked up to him.

"Good evening Professor" she said firmly.

He stood up and although she was quite tall for a woman, he towered over her and thus enhancing the intimidating effect. Slowly he took her outstretched hand and shook it with his cold slender fingers. Hermione had to control herself not to pull her hand back the moment he touched her fingers. 

"Miss Granger…or should I say… Doctor Granger?" He spoke softly, whispered almost and his voice still sounded as black velvet, dark and suffocating. Dark eyes piercing into hers.

"Hermione will do, professor" she replied.

He smirked. "Very well, miss Granger it is then" Snape said.

*Well that was a good start* She thought and suppressed the urge to turn on her heals and walk away from the arrogant bastard.

"Miss Granger, have you had dinner already?" he murmured when they were seated.

"Excuse me?" Hermione asked incredulously.

"Well, I do not know what you think, but unlike the rumour goes, I cannot live on air and the taste of young maidens blood get tiresome after a while. However I refuse to study and discuss ancient documents, higher magic and the future welfare of the world when I'm sober and on an empty stomach, so therefore the question whether you had eaten or not. I was trying to offer you a meal, really it's not that difficult…" he sneered.

A vague smile curled her lips, indeed she had heard the rumours about Snape being a vampire and the image of him turning into a bat and flying around the halls of Hogwarts had given Harry, Ron and herself a good laugh many times.

"Professor, I thought many things of you when I was younger, and honestly I tried to forget all those things, including their very well founded reasons why I thought them, when I got older, completely unsuccessful if I might add, but seriously thinking you were a vampire was never among them". Hermione said, trying to get over her initial aversion of having dinner with Snape.

"Very well, because I must warn you before we open negotiations…I'm nothing as innocent as a vampire" he said ominously and when Hermione saw the look in his eyes she knew he was not joking.

She took a deep breath "All right, I'll take you up on that meal offer, but I'm afraid that for drinks I'll need something stronger than butterbeer, after your last statement I feel like I'm making a pact with the devil" Hermione said with a hint of sarcasm.

"Oh it is nothing as simple as that "Dr." Granger. A pact with the devil just means that your life is very pleasurable while you are alive, it is the afterlife that is…troublesome. While we… we are making a pact _against_ the devil, which will of course make our lives hell on earth, but at least we'll get rewarded in the afterlife". Severus smirked.

"That is of course if you believe in such things", he murmured, after which he ordered two glasses of 18 year old single malt Islay whisky. Funny enough, the only sentence that Hermione could think of was: 

* Single malt, I was right!* but she wisely kept her mouth shut.

"I don't believe in heaven or hell, I am a humanist" she stated instead.

"Oh believe, Miss Granger, I don't know about heaven, but hell exists, trust me, I've been there". He said softly.

*********************************************************************

They had finished their meal, a bottle of wine, and were now on their third cognac, during which Hermione had explained the background story of her project. She could see at the expression on his face that he was intrigued.

"So, do tell me, Miss Granger… which theories have you developed concerning this document and how… did you decipher it. And if you have time later this evening I'd like to see your formula, and the original document" he said, not unfriendly. 

Severus knew he was being very demanding, but he had to know every little detail about this manuscript. If Granger was right… perhaps he would get a chance to finally silence the demons in his head and let the dead rest in peace. Mercifully she was intelligent enough to understand his questions and patient enough to explain everything he needed to know. 

Hermione recognised the hunger for knowledge in him, something she was known for herself during all the years of her study. And of course, it was nice to talk to someone whose line of thinking was close to her own; always one step ahead, when it came to science anyway. Perhaps it was the amount of alcohol in her blood - something she wasn't used to anymore, not since she was promoted at university and the manuscript project received the "green light" so to speak - but she almost enjoyed this evening so far.

"So the document was written in the Old Tongue" he asked.

"Some version of it, I believe it is "Danoii Shidhe" or some Fae tribe if you like"

Severus did not correct her, although he wanted to box her ears with her insensitive "some Fae tribe" statement. Fae tribe… ha! But there was no time now to explain all the delicate racial differences of the people who lived in England, Scotland and Ireland long before the Celts did. Later he would tell her, but not now.

"And you translated all the ingredients right?" he asked instead.

"I believe so…"

Severus got a little irritated, believing was something you did in a god, goddess, humankind or nothing, and not a word he liked to be used in science.

"I do not care what you believe in Miss Granger, I need to be absolutely certain. I have no time and no need for foolish beliefs, now did or didn't you translate the ingredients right?" he asked impatiently.

The tone of his questioning went quickly downhill, too quickly as far as Hermione was concerned. 

*Ah, back to the old professor we all know and love again, the difference this time is that I am no longer his student* she thought, anger glittering in her eyes.

*And it's about time he found out*

"Look professor, I know you don't like me, and believe me, the feeling is entirely mutual, but I at least ask you to respect my professional opinion. I have spent four year researching this document, and I know I am _very_ thorough, _very_ good, and also _very_ precise at what I do. I told you everything I know, everything I have researched. Obviously it is not enough, otherwise the bloody potion would work, that is where I'd like your expertise to come in, nothing more, nothing less… and I certainly don't want any lectures from you in which you treat me as unknowing little student of yours" She said furiously.

He looked coldly at her, she thought this was _personal_???, such arrogance…

"You are right _Doctor _Granger, I do not _like_ you. I do not like you any more than I like any other wizard or muggle, which is not much, but just for your information, I not like many people. 

I do like my privacy, being alone, without being disturbed with trivial things by a woman or friends. I am a man who prefers the company of a simmering cauldron, Chopin, a good whisky and my own intellect. However, the fact that you and I do not _like_ each other is irrelevant in this matter. I admire the work you are trying to do here, but before I give you my professional opinion I need to know every single detail you can give me. Which is something you should understand as a scientist, since we share a mutual interest in the same science, do you understand that!?" he sneered.

Hermione was confused, did he just give her a compliment and an ear bashing in one?

"Well…it seems that interesting times are ahead, if we start working together. Let's play it safe and both get ourselves a life insurance" Snape murmured softly after a while.

"So that means you'll do it?" she asked hopefully

"It means I'll think about it…right now I need to go back to my dimly lit quarters and ponder everything that has been said tonight". He replied.

Something about that little lecture he just gave her was bugging her. It came as no surprise that did not have a wife or family, but no friends except for Dumbledore perhaps… She could not imagine her life without friends, and honestly, she didn't want to.

"Professor, can I ask you an honest question?"

"I mean…O forget it, it's really none of my business" she said softly.

Snape looked at her intently and raised one eyebrow.

"It's quite all right Miss Granger, I suppose you are old enough to ask an honest question and get an honest answer to that question"

She looked at him.

"Don't you ever get lonely?" she blurted out.

He was silent and didn't look at her

He ordered another round of drinks and waited until Rosmerta handed it to them.

He took a sip and looked at Hermione,

"I have a feeling it may take a while before we get used to each other, let alone be able to work together, however I promised you an answer" he sighed.

"Yes, I do get lonely, not very often, but sometimes I do get lonely… I suppose you are just as surprised as I am that I am telling you this, but let's just blame it on an abundant amount of alcohol, shall we?" he softly said.

"And since we are being honest with each other, I have been… informed that you questioned my… reliability, please, do explain…" he said. And when she looked into his eyes she saw hints of pain and anger in them, but most of all, a cold, black void…

Hermione was silent, she simply did not know what to say, her anger had melted away and she really did not want to answer that question at this moment.

"Very well, the answer will have to wait till another time then, I think I know most of what I need to know anyway. Before I give you my answer and the conditions on which I work, I'd like to have a look at the document, do you have it here?"

"No… I gave it to Dumbledore to keep for me…" she said.

"You'll have to go without sleep for a while then, at least until you can allow yourself to fall down on the bed in the Hogwarts guestroom. I must say I am rather curious, after all you've told me... Tell me, have your flying skills improved since you last attended Hogwarts?"

"No… not really" she said hesitantly.

"Fine we'll just have take my broom then, follow me" he said as he stood up and with billowing robes walked to the door without looking back if she was really following him.

"Damn him!" Hermione muttered as she stood up, and apparated just outside the Three Broomsticks.

*I will _not_ follow him, not now, not ever* she thought murderously and she walked up to where Snape was waiting, holding his broomstick.

____________________________________________________________________

Thank you all for your kind reviews, it really means a lot to me!!!!!!!!!

Em

.


	4. Memory Lane

Challenges ****

Challenges

Chapter 4 - Memory Lane

"Miss Granger, would you mind loosening your grip a little, I am starting to get desperate for oxygen here."

Hermione opened her eyes, but quickly reconsidered her action and shut them firmly again as they were at least at 200 ft. above the ground.

"If you wouldn't fly as reckless as you do, you wouldn't have to worry about that!" she snapped.

He sighed.

"Then how do you expect me to fly, At three ft. nine perhaps? We could run into someone and I have no desire to end up in Azkaban because we'll murder anything Flitwick sized and seriously injure anything larger. I don't want that on my conscience" he sneered.

"I'll have your murder on my conscience if you don't go any lower" she whispered furiously

"Miss Granger, let me inform you now, before it is too late, that it is very unwise to threaten me" he growled.

"It's not a threat, it's a promise" Hermione whispered venomously. 

"Very well" he said and suddenly dived down at the speed of light. Hermione screamed, but just before she thought they would hit the ground and die, he stopped his broomstick and stepped off, she could do nothing else but follow his example.

She couldn't say anything because she was too busy trying to stop her knees from clattering, but the look on her face spoke volumes. Snape ignored it and before she could protest he put her at the front of his broom and seated himself behind her, she was facing him now.

"I intend to be at Hogwarts before dawn and in one piece, now shut up and sit still" he said through gritted teeth. He almost gently pushed her head in his neck, held her with one arm and took off, steering his broom with his other arm. 

"You'll pay for this…" she said as menacingly as she could.

"I'm warning you Miss Granger, I could make another dive…" he said but Hermione was too frightened to notice the slight amusement in voice.

*********************************************************************

Ten minutes later they landed on the Astronomy tower 

"Now, that wasn't too bad was it?" he said as he helped her on her feet.

"No too bad!?" she exclaimed "No too bad!? You nearly got us killed! I have never in my life…"

"Come now doctor… You don't think I would have let you fall to your death before you showed me the document and your notes?" he asked sarcastically.

"You bastard!" she hissed, but at the same time she wondered how someone so arrogant, vile and irritating as him could smell so…pleasantly spicy…

"We have wasted enough of our valuable time as it is, Miss Granger and I really do not wish to continue this useless, time consuming conversation. We needed to get to Hogwarts, and my broom was the only mode of transportation we had available at that moment. Had I known you were so afraid of heights I would have come by…other means. Now can we please put this subject behind us?" he growled softly.

"Remind me that next time we need to go somewhere together I bring a box of floo powder and a book containing all the legal alternatives for Crucio, so I can practice them all on you" she snapped.

"Gladly, just trust me to practise one _illegal_ curse on you, just to return the favour, flying another three rounds around Hogwarts highest tower will do your temper much good I think" he snapped.

"You wouldn't dare…" she said furiously

"Try me"

*********************************************************************

They were standing in front of the heavy oak doors leading to the headmasters quarters. 

Hermione had cooled down a bit in the ten minutes it took to get from the astronomy tower to the headmasters quarters. Still fuming inside, she was now able to hold her act together so that it didn't show on the outside. 

She didn't know what had made her feel more uncomfortable: to be on a broom while she was petrified with fear as soon she was on anything higher than a kitchen step, or that he had put her in front of him and held her carefully close to him. As if she was something _valuable… _She hated it when people did that; it made her feel vulnerable… weak… feminine…

Hermione Granger did not like to feel vulnerable, weak and certainly not feminine when she was anywhere near a man that was as hard as diamond and as cold as the north-pole in midwinter…

*Those are the ones that hurt you the most…* she thought sadly, but refusing herself a trip down memory lane she forced her attention back to the now, back to her work as she always did when thinking back of the days that she still allowed herself to get hurt…

Severus knocked on the door rather loudly and after several minutes, a very cranky and sleepy looking Albus Dumbledore in a long nightshirt opened the door.

"Severus, Hermione…for goodness sake, do you know what time it is? Don't you youngsters have anything better to do than pestering an old man on some unearthly hour?" he asked softly.

"Yes Albus, actually we do… normally I would have waited till the morning but I feel that the sooner I cast a look on that famous manuscript Miss Granger has told me about, the better. We will take it to my quarters before Miss Granger and I have an interesting discussion the middle of your sitting room about Elfish translations and the subtle art of potions brewing. Which will probably last till the morning if we are as agreeable as we were the largest part of this night". Severus said while looking at Hermione with a strange glitter in his eyes.

*He looks like he's actually looking forward to it…* Hermione thought with mild surprise as she gave him a nasty glare…

"And although I'd like to know your opinion and your views, I know you need to rest old friend…" Severus added almost friendly, looking at Dumbledore this time.

"If you are so convinced I need my rest Severus, you should know better than waking me up in the middle of the night. But I know you have your reasons, and I suspect that tonight's reason are more important than my desperately needed sleep…" He said sleepily while he yawned.

"Very well, come in" he said finally and guided them both to his sitting room. 

Dumbledore walked over to his desk and rummaged through a stack of paperwork for quite a while. Finally he came up with a small brass key and walked to the painting above a comfortable looking red sofa. He looked at the pretty woman on the painting and sighed. Softly he said "liquorice" and the portrait came to life. The woman smiled fondly at Dumbledore.

"Albus, you look like you just rolled out of bed…what can be so important in the middle of the night? O I see… It's the head of Slytherin House bothering you again" she said smiling while she gave Severus a teasing look.

"Hello Sophie" Severus said smiling vaguely.

Dumbledore smiled at her with a look of tenderness on his face "Dearest, Can you give me the file that I gave you to keep, I know it's an unearthly hour, but I'll make it up to you, it's important" Dumbledore asked while he gave her the small brass key.

*Dearest???* Hermione thought.

"Certainly" she said as she disappeared, only to reappear a minute later with a large,

brown folder in her hand. She gave the file to Dumbledore whom on his turn handed it to Hermione.

"Now, go and let an old man sleep please" he said with the familiar twinkle in his eyes to Severus and Hermione. "The last thing I want is you both ranting about the possibilities and impossibilities of this manuscript at this hour, just be sure to give me a full report after breakfast tomorrow". He said and closed the door before Hermione or Severus could protest at being worked out of the door.

"That painting…" Hermione said a few minutes later, on their way to Professor Snape's private lab.

"Sophie Dumbledore, his wife…. she… died a long time ago, he never remarried, but it is really his story to tell, Miss Granger" Snape said slowly.

*Now where did I hear that before?* Hermione thought.

It seemed that there was more to the professors from her youth than she had always thought …

*********************************************************************

"So… what do you think?" Hermione asked.

They were in Snape's private quarters, bent over a large ancient looking manuscript concentrating at the strange looking figures on the parchment.

"It looks…Interesting…" Snape replied with a frown on his forehead.

"Especially since it exactly describes what Voldemort must have done to gain immortality and a new body…" Hermione stated.

"How can you be so sure?" Snape asked, still frowning. As always, he did not trust things he had not witnessed or researched for himself.

"Harry was there, remember? with the Tri-wizard tournament? It exactly matches his story, but what makes it all the more interesting is this part, look" and she pointed somewhere in the middle of the manuscript, 

Severus looked and not for the first time he blessed his Celtic mother, she had insisted that her only dearly loved son received the best education a young wizard could possibly get, which had included Celtic History, and three magical languages; Elfish, Tuatha de Danann and Dwarven. The document was complicated but he could translate it fairly easy.

"He who is blessed with eternal life should be aware that nothing is irreversible, but death. If he purposely causes harm, grief or pain, eternity can and should be taken away from him by means of a most special brew… foxfeather, moonstone, clover, ore, mandrake, seaweed from Atlantis, a mermaids hair…." Severus translated, his voice sounding as black velvet again. His mind was working at full speed and he realised that despite his eagerness to see the manuscript and read Hermione's notes, he had not really dared to believe her…until now… 

He looked very seriously at her.

"This could mean the end of the war…", he said in a low voice.

"Now you believe me?" Hermione smirked with a little smug smile around her mouth. She enjoyed the look he gave her, as if he finally realised she was not just a silly girl with silly ideas about saving and the world. She was a _woman_ and together, if they both gave their best, they _could_ save the world. 

*********************************************************************

They had just agreed upon the lesser details of their working relationship and as expected it had taken a hell of a lengthy discussion to get them both satisfied with the results. 

As their project was top secret, Severus would have to remain as the Potions Master and Head of Slytherin House which meant that their working hours together had to be scheduled after dinner and would last until they could allow themselves to get a few hours of sleep. 

Hermione would try to take some work off his shoulders by correcting essays, homework and other light, but time-consuming tasks so that they could spend more time together in his private lab.

Now that it was all arranged, Hermione was sitting in a very comfortable chair, staring into the fire. However tired she was, she could not get rid of the feeling that had developed itself in the pit of her stomach. It was…excitement, anticipation and wonder about the prospect of working together with this man. 

They had bickered almost all night and when they didn't try to bite each-others head off, they talked and discussed things as if their life depended on it, which probably wasn't too far from the truth… The strange thing was that she really enjoyed it, it made her head clear and made her mind feel sharp, which was remarkable to say the least, after the amount of alcohol she had indulged quite some hours ago. 

Now they were silent, sitting comfortably next to each other staring into the fire, both sunken into their own thoughts. He felt very comfortable, thoroughly enjoying the evening, thinking that he didn't have as much fun since before the day…

*Don't touch that Severus…don't go even near that…* He thought to himself… 

But of course as these things go when you try to _not_ to think of something, he _did_ go near it, and he _did_ think of things he wished he could forget...

********************************************************************

It's funny how they say that time heals all wounds, which is really just one big lie. Time does heal wounds, but only if you allow yourself to forget how happy you were and how much you cared about the ones whose passing into another realm caused the wound. 

People can only be healed if they want to be healed, if they allow themselves to move on, if they can forgive themselves, for being the ones left alive. 

It was 26 years since Severus Snape lost his two children and 28 since he lost his wife to the dark side… He did not want to be healed, move on, or even forgive him self for being alive… 

He remembered the day when Selene, the youngest Lestrange daughter said yes to him, in the Snape family chapel. She was a beautiful aristocratic creature, and like all Lestranges, obsessed by the purity of their race. He didn't mind that much then, he loved her and they were happy… how a man could be fooled and betrayed by love... 

Of course it didn't take her long to find her way to the Dark Lord, and of course, lovesick fool that he was and soon father to be, followed the love of his life into the embrace of the dark one. 

The things he had done in name of the dark… it was too… evil for words… He shuddered.

*May she forever rot in Azkaban*, he thought poisonously, as he flexed his fingers slowly. 

He should have recognised the madness in her eyes, realised she was beyond saving, but he never expected something so… disgustingly evil and vile, not from the woman he loved… 

He stared into the fire and sunk into his own little world, forgetting that Hermione was there in the same room, sitting next to him and intently studying his face. She felt a bit uncomfortable, that haunted look in his eyes was something she'd never seen before in another ones eyes. Nevertheless, she knew what it meant, she recognised it from the mirror, that day when Voldemorts minions had slaughtered her parents… 

This was how unspeakable pain and grief, guilt and anger looked… 

He remembered his children…Two beautiful bright boys, twins… with Selene's large blue eyes and her raven black hair. Of course his hair was black as well, but he liked the idiotic but romantic thought that their children looked like their very beautiful mother.

*Very beautiful _insane_ mother* he corrected himself, and the familiar sickening feeling that always came over him when he thought of this particular episode in his life came washing over him.

He swallowed as bile rose in his throat.

If he closed his eyes he could still smell the thick, iron like scent of their blood, still hear her cackling laugh as she showed him her hands that were washed in blood. Blood of Innocents, she had called it, a… sacrifice to the Dark Lord. 

It had been the blood of _their _innocents, their boys and as he saw their lifeless bodies lying on the ground like useless waste, he cried… 

It had been the last time in his miserable life that he had shed tears for anyone, as the night his children died, his heart had died with them. 

That night he went to Dumbledore and became a spy. His wife, the beautiful Selene Snape, was the first one to go to Azkaban thanks to him…many had followed since.

He shuddered and closed his eyes fiercely as if the image of his two boys would go away, but he knew it was in vain… it had been burnt in his memory so many years ago. No matter how hard he tried, it would not go away…

Suddenly he felt a soft hand touching his shoulder and squeezing it gently, he looked up and saw the warmly looking face of Hermione Granger looking down on him as she offered him a drink.

"I hope you don't mind that I helped myself to one last drink for the road" she said softly as she sat down again

"No…, No, not at all", he said absent minded.

She sighed.

"It seems we all have our personal demons to defeat in this war, at least… I know I have… and telling by the look on your face you have quite a few as well" she said softly.

He turned his head and looked at her, his black eyes piercing into her soul. She was shocked, never had she seen so much pain in any ones eyes…

It only lasted a moment then he turned his head away again only to stare back in the fire. He took a sip from his drink and swallowed.

"We all have lost loved ones in the war Miss Granger; some of us lost friends, others have lost parents or children, I have lost my… sanity" he whispered hoarsely.

*********************************************************************

HUGE thanks again to anyone who reviewed, I couldn't do it without you! I wish I could all name you here, but Ff.net cuts off at 15 nowadays…

Next chapter will be out in a week or two.

I'm sorry the broomstick ride didn't turn out more romantic, but I don't think they are ready for romance… **yet** *E.G.*

If you notice any spelling/grammar mistakes and it irritates you, please point them out to me in a private mail to [emmyt@planet.nl][1] . (I'm not English and have no Beta, sorry! *grin* it was my intention to write a short Severus/Hermione story but turns out much longer than I had initially planned…

Hope you're enjoying it so far, anyway let me know…

Love,

Em

   [1]: mailto:emmyt@planet.nl



	5. Breakdown

Challenges  
  
   
  
Chapter 5 - Breakdown  
  
"Morning." Hermione grumbled as she apparated in Ron's living room and took her place at the breakfast table, where the rest of her friends were waiting, some of them looking worried, others grinning like mad and Ron looking as if he was about to kill someone.  
  
*Oh dear. Someone has been giving someone the wrong ideas again* she thought, not very amused.  
  
"Where were you last night? Why didn't you come home?" Ron asked angrily.  
  
She took a deep breath, it was all she could do not to laugh at Ron who was standing behind his chair, arms folded and trying to look very protective and imposing. which suited his mother, but not Ron.  
  
"What on earth have you guys been insinuating in my absence?" she asked sweetly, but with a poisonous undertone at Fred, George and Draco, who at that point collapsed, howling with laughter.  
  
Hermione's head was, thanks to the lack of sleep and the previous night's happenings, in no condition to deal with an angry Ron. There was too much to think about and too little time, so she decided to give him what he asked for. the truth, at least. her version of it.  
  
"I highly doubt that it is any of your business, Ron, but I." she started.  
  
"Spent the night with a gorgeous blonde Swedish stripper you met after you finished business with Snape, right?" Fred said, with a wicked grin on his face.  
  
"I wish," she replied grinning, "but there was no blonde stripper. Actually. I spent the night with Snape. TALKING" she emphasized as she saw the looks of utter shock and horror appearing on her friends faces.  
  
"So he didn't try." Ron said hesitantly.  
  
"No, Ron! What were you thinking? This is Snape we are talking about, remember? In all the years at Hogwarts, do you remember him showing any sign of interest in someone of the opposite sex?" she asked seriously. This was getting out of hand and was quickly becoming ridiculous!  
  
"And you didn't." he asked, too worried to notice the anger flaring up in the eyes of his hot-tempered friend.  
  
"Damn you, Ron, what do you think I am!?.I didn't seduce the poor professor to get him to do what I want. I'm lucky enough to be able to convince people with scientific evidence and my ability to talk about it. I have a brain, you know.It seems someone in this room has set you up again," Hermione said, with a killer glare to her right where the twins were seated, who tried to look as innocent as they possibly could.which usually meant they were guilty as charged.  
  
"Besides, you guys are giving my feminine charm far too much credit, I wouldn't know how to seduce a normal guy, let alone a man who is as immune to emotions as Snape is. Not that I'd want too. I'm not sure I could live with myself afterwards... ugh!"  
  
She yawned, pretending to be calm again.  
  
"I'll tell you what happened, I hardly slept at all last night and, somewhere between finishing off the last details of our collaboration and sunrise, I must have fallen asleep. I woke up this morning in his guestroom with a note on the door stating he had gone for breakfast and that he expected me at 2:00 pm at Dumbledore's office door." she said, as she helped herself to coffee, a boiled egg and some toast.  
  
It was the truth, albeit a censored version of it. It was pointless telling her friends about the man without his mask. They wouldn't understand. She wasn't sure if she understood it herself.  
  
**************************************************************************** *  
  
She had fallen asleep while they were staring in the fire with a warm comfortable silence as their companion.  
  
"We all have lost loved ones in the war, Miss Granger; some of us lost friends, others have lost parents or children, I have lost the light in my life and my. sanity.." He had whispered and Hermione had felt that he had not exaggerated one bit in making that statement.  
  
She had been pondering what it was that could transform a man into the bitter and dark creature Snape had become. She had fallen asleep, while making up a possible history for her former professor, only to be awakened a little while later by the sensation that someone was carrying her in his arms.  
  
He had put her in bed, taken off her robe, her high-heeled shoes and had tucked her in while she pretended to be asleep, feeling not entirely sure whether to secretly congratulate herself for putting on a dress that was made of a soft, flexible material, or to slap herself for it. Either way, it stayed on and she would have to sleep in it.  
  
"Goodnight, Miss Granger" he had murmured while looking at her and, with that last statement, he walked out of the room, carefully closing the door behind him and leaving Hermione utterly confused. She wasn't used to the intimacy of being pleasantly tipsy, being half undressed and put in bed by someone of the opposite sex.  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
"Anyway, it was all their fault" Ginny said grinning, pointing at her twin brothers.  
  
"What?." Hermione said, snapping back to reality and realizing she had missed a good part of the current conversation.  
  
"Well, they almost made it sound as if the wedding was planned for next week, which was enough to trigger Ron's protectiveness.I really hope that the baby is going to be a boy. You'd be a dreadful father for a girl," Harry said, smiling at his best friend.  
  
"Impossible," Draco suddenly stated firmly.  
  
"Excuse me for sounding daft.but.what is impossible?" Hermione asked, truly wondering what they were going on about.  
  
Draco smiled unpleasantly.  
  
"That you'd marry Snape," he chuckled.  
  
'It doesn't happen often, Malfoy, but I couldn't agree more" she laughed heartily.  
  
'Now, can we change the subject please? I understand that you all have been worried about me when I didn't come home last night and I really appreciate it, but any more of this.this utter nonsense and I."  
  
"Why is it impossible for Snape to marry Hermione?" Katie interrupted, her hands resting on her very pregnant belly.  
  
"Ow..pleeease." Hermione muttered, a bit irritated.  
  
"Because he already is married.. to Selene Lestrange."  
  
Hermione had to bite her tongue not to blurt out a loud "What!!?" together with the rest of their not so little group, as that would have been pouring oil on the flames.and she knew Fred and George well enough to know they wouldn't pass up an opportunity like that.  
  
"Why didn't we know?" Ron asked, amazed.  
  
"Because you're Gryffindors," Draco sneered, which earned him a punch in the side from his beloved fiancée.  
  
"But seriously." he said, grinning a bit sourly while rubbing his side "it is not that commonly known because her current residence is in Azkaban, " he added, which caused a second round of amazed outcries.  
  
"Which sane woman would marry a greasy bastard like Snape?" Ron wondered.  
  
"Which sane woman would end up in Azkaban, you mean," Hermione said softly.  
  
"Apparently a very beautiful and rich woman, although Snape is from an old and rich family himself. My mother used to think it was one of the greatest love stories of the century. But, she is a Slytherin and married my father of course, which doesn't say much for her sense of romance. Anyway, Their children died in a tragic accident and apparently Snape went mad and blamed Selene. He handed her over to an auror, after which he made sure she was judged guilty and sent to Azkaban. It seems the last thing she screamed when the dementors took her away was that she'd always love him, no matter what he did. He later regretted his temporary madness and claimed it had been an accident after all.  
  
He went back to serve the Dark Lord who accepted him back into the fold. I do not wish to know what he had to do to prove his loyalty to the Dark Lord..." Draco almost whispered.  
  
"Of course, now we know that he was a spy for Dumbledore the whole time. But at that time each and every Death Eater believed he went back because he regretted his actions concerning Selene. My mother believes that he tried to prove her innocence. at which he failed of course, so now he is still waiting for her to get out of Azkaban and live happily ever after with him, which sounds like a load of bull to me, to be perfectly honest.." Draco stated glumly.  
  
Hermione sat in shocked silence. To lose your children. that would be enough to drive anyone insane. but you had to be a cruel, cold man to send your wife to a place like Azkaban for something that was an accident. if it had been an accident.  
  
"Ugh, you must be truly evil to send a beautiful, innocent woman to a place like Azkaban," Ron said, firmly siding on what he thought to be the fragile half of the human race.  
  
"How do you know all this?" Ginny asked Draco, who smiled as he laid his hand on her back.  
  
"Some of you may forget every now and then but, although I am not too proud of it anymore, I am a Malfoy, son of a Death Eater and if there is one thing my father knows a lot about it is the lives and sins of other Death Eaters. Besides I am and always will be a Slytherin. Professor Snape was head of my house.and a damn good one, if I might add"  
  
"How can you say that? He was so unfair!" Katie blurted out.  
  
Draco sighed. "If you would have grown up in my family or any other Death Eater family you would not ask that question."  
  
He took a deep breath and Hermione noticed that telling this tale had brought back memories he wished not to think about, Ginny saw it too and held his hand in hers, softly squeezing it every now and then.  
  
"Death Eaters, like any other parent, love their children. But above all they love the Dark Lord. Snape. was not the type who would listen to nightmares and comfort you. but he always had dreamless sleep potions when you needed them and a comment or two which made you think about yourself and what you were doing, well-wrapped in cynicism and sarcasm, of course. I think Snape had as much to do with me not joining the Death Eaters as Ginny," he said, smiling fondly at the pretty redhead sitting next to him.  
  
****************************************************************************  
  
After she finished breakfast and said her goodbyes to Ginny and Draco, who were leaving for their home close to the Burrow, Hermione prepared herself for her meeting with Dumbledore. After a long hot shower and a Hangover-Go pill she nicked from George, she felt remotely human again.  
  
She had a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that didn't leave her alone. The tale Draco told them bothered her, but she was positive that she would not dare asking Snape about the truth. Anyway, she had other worries now and tried to focus her mind on what they had agreed upon the night before, which was harder than she thought as the feeling of him carrying her in his arms kept washing over her.  
  
*I must go out more, meet people, meet other men. It gets worrisome when I start enjoying being carried around by a man who used to give me the creeps when I was a kid.* she thought, mildly amused.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
The meeting with Dumbledore went well and he was quite impressed by what they both told him. It only lasted ten, perhaps fifteen minutes as they had discovered nothing, since Hermione's meeting with him the day before. It was good to know that, besides the two of them, there was someone else who saw the possibilities in this particular project and that he believed in their capabilities.  
  
It had been agreed that Hermione would temporarily move into Severus' guestroom while Filch would make a room ready for her near the Gryffindor tower. She wasn't sure whether that was such a good idea. It was only for a short while but she was certain that, if they lived "together" in one apartment, however large it might be, however many rooms it might possess, they would sooner or later be at each other's throats.. Most likely sooner than later.  
  
In order to kill some time, she was doing some late afternoon shopping; some extra clothing, ingredients for the potion and a few knick-knacks she couldn't resist. Later in the week she would go back to Ireland to pick up some stuff but today she didn't have the energy.  
  
When she was finished and utterly bored with spending money, her feet automatically carried her to The Three Broomsticks where she dropped her bags and ordered a double espresso. She sat down near the fire, for the moment thoroughly enjoying the simple pleasures of strong coffee, a warm fire and the thrill of feeling at home again.  
  
For the first time since her parents died, she felt like she belonged somewhere and it felt good.  
  
"Oy! Lass!" She heard a booming voice shout through the Three Broomsticks and, a moment later, felt a gigantic hand on her shoulder. She turned around and looked into Hagrid's beaming face.  
  
"Hagrid!" She shouted while she jumped up and firmly hugged the half-giant. He lifted her up and held her above his head while turning in a circle. He laughed whole-heartedly when he put her on the ground again. "You've grown, Hermione, not a little girl anymore, aye?" he said while he looked at her appreciatively.  
  
"No," she smiled, "I'm a responsible adult now, well.sort of anyway," she said jokingly.  
  
"Aye, but as long as you still know how to laugh, you'll be ok, Lassie," he said as he sat down while a big sloppy puppy, which looked as if it came from the same lineage as Fang, laid his head on her lap.  
  
"So, how've you been, Hagrid?" Hermione asked while she scratched the little monster behind his ear, which it enjoyed so much that it started drooling on her lap.  
  
"Oy Sabretooth! Go and lay down over there!" Hagrid said firmly, while pointing in the direction of a large basket near the fire. After an aggrieved look at Hermione, Sabretooth dragged himself into the pointed direction and fell down with a loud sigh of protest.  
  
Hermione looked fondly at the half-giant, who hadn't changed one bit, still the same glittering little black beetle eyes, the bushy beard and the warm smile.  
  
He looked at her excitedly and, by the way he was almost jumping up and down his chair, she figured that he must have something important to tell her.  
  
"I'm a wizard now, Hermione!" He blurted out, unable to contain the greatest joy he had experienced since the hatching of Norbert.  
  
"Good for you, Hagrid!" She exclaimed happily. "I knew that Dumbledore would find a way to make things right!" She smiled because she was truly happy for her old friend.  
  
"Dumbledore said that, once my innocence had been proven, there was nothing to stop me from becoming a wizard, and I am! I am a wizard now, I even got me a wand! Look!" Hagrid said while he got his wand out of his thick coat, which caused it to spray red stars into the soup of a nearby wizard.  
  
"Sorry!" he shouted, looking quizzically at Hermione who could not contain her laughter any longer.  
  
"I'm so sorry!" she hiccuped, wiping the tears from her eyes.  
  
"And I am sorry to interrupt this cosy.gathering. but I thought I'd find you here."  
  
Her laugher was suddenly stuck in her throat as she heard a familiar deep velvet voice behind her.  
  
She turned around and there, dressed in his long black robes with his arms folded, stood Professor Snape. The draft played a little with his hair and he looked as stern as ever.  
  
Hermione felt a little giddy for a moment as she felt as if Snape had caught her in the act of stealing something out of his private cabinet.  
  
*Lucky he never found that one out* she thought, grinning a bit.  
  
She tried to wipe the smile off her face, which worked quite well as long as she didn't look at Hagrid, who was still holding his wand, wondering where the red stars had come from.  
  
"Hagrid, if you'll excuse us. Miss Granger and I have some important business to attend to," he said ominously, after which Hagrid shrugged and moved to the bar to start a chat with Rosmerta.  
  
Hermione sighed. He did not have to like Hagrid but this was just plain rude.  
  
"Professor, Hagrid and I haven't spoken in ages, I'm sure that whatever it is you need to discuss with me could have waited until later. You didn't need to send him away like that. it was.rude" she told him honestly.  
  
For a moment she saw anger flickering in his coal black eyes, but it was soon replaced by vague amusement. She even saw a hint of a smile playing around his lips.  
  
"Not many people would dare to disagree with me in public, Miss Granger. I. appreciate your courage and honesty. But, after he almost blew up my potions lab during his exams, I do not expect our precious groundskeeper to add any extra value to what I have to discuss with you," he sneered.  
  
The thought of Professor Snape trying to teach Hagrid the subtleties of potions brewing was a little bit too much for her poor nerves, which were already in a sorry state since the previous night. She swallowed her initial amusement and looked sternly at the professor.  
  
"Professor, would you permit me to talk to your friends like that?" she asked.  
  
He looked at her while raising one eyebrow.  
  
"That would not be advisable, Miss Granger. However, I did not come here to discuss the finer nuances of friendship and common courtesy with you. Here. read this." he said as he placed an ancient looking book in front of her.  
  
"What is it?" she asked as she ran her fingers over the weathered, leather cover.  
  
"I have been to my ancestral home this afternoon. This book was in the private collection of my. a family member" he said sternly, in a tone of voice that allowed no further questions.  
  
Rage was building up inside her system again.how did he do it? All he had to do was open his mouth and say three sentences to her and she was ready to slap him silly. Usually she wasn't like this.not this.violent.  
  
She opened the book in order to stay calm and immediately saw that it was ancient, probably from the same era as her manuscript. She looked at the handwriting but had a little trouble deciphering it.  
  
"Is this.?" she asked, somewhat uncertain  
  
He nodded his head  
  
"It's a Dwarven handbook on how to treat the Sidhe.apparently the little people had as much trouble dealing with them as the human race had."  
  
Hermione looked at him quizzically.  
  
"And how is that supposed to help us with."  
  
"Not here. these walls have.ears" he interrupted her as he looked around him, his eyes resting on two goblins for a moment.  
  
"You are not suggesting that we fly to Hogwarts by broom again?" she asked him, feeling a bit worried.  
  
He laughed genuinely and she was shocked by the sound of it; loud, deep, warm and throaty.  
  
"Actually, Miss Granger. I planned on riding but if you insist on flying."  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
"Well.where's your car?" Hermione asked while she looked around her. Cars were not something you saw everyday around Hogsmeade, for the simple reason that the magic in the castle made them too unreliable. She was quite curious as to what sort of car a wizard would be driving and how he had found a way around the magic and made it behave the way it should.  
  
The common mode of transportation in this area was the same as it had been a hundred years ago, in the muggle world, mainly horses and carriages.  
  
*Horses!?? Oh no!* she suddenly realised and felt her mood go down rapidly.  
  
"I never said anything about a car, Miss Granger. please allow me to introduce you to. Caesar," Severus said, while he untethered the largest, most ferocious looking black horse she'd ever seen.  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
"Honestly, Miss Granger, don't you muggleborns learn anything during your so-called education?" he sneered as he helped her off Caesar, who was peacefully grazing away at the side of the Quidditch field.  
  
Hermione swallowed. This was the second time in 24 hours in which she had had a near death experience as far as she was concerned. The horse was fine, it sure was a magnificent animal, but it was just so damn high. She'd have been quite happy to admire it from the ground, but that would have meant admitting to Severus that she was afraid, something her pride was not ready for just yet. The only thing she could do during the whole nightmarish trip from Hogsmeade to Hogwarts was clinging onto the professor for dear life, something he had made several sarcastic comments about.  
  
He had just called her muggleborn, which was exactly what she was, but the way he said it made it almost sound like.mudblood. which was exactly the wrong thing to say to her at this moment. It was just one word to add to the already uncomfortable feeling of fear that kept washing over her. She was never afraid of anything, never felt uncomfortable with anything. At least, that was what people thought, or better, what she led people to believe. This was the second time in 24 hours that he had made her feel afraid and incredibly vulnerable and she didn't like it.  
  
"Just for your information, Professor, I may be a muggle born but I had the most wonderful loving parents one could ever wish for, who gave me the best education possible. The fact that I grew up in the centre of London stopped me from learning stupid things like horseback riding and flying around on stupid broomsticks and learning stupid games like quidditch. I may not have had the education that a young wizard would have received but it never affected me until you insisted on flying around on that.that.piece of firewood of yours. I was polite and went along with it while you did not even possess the decency of asking me if I was comfortable with it. Well.I am not! Therefore, I refuse to ever sit on either that broomstick or that horse again.ever!" she whispered venomously.  
  
Severus looked at her in shocked silence. It had simply never occurred to him that the brave Hermione Granger would be afraid of something as seemingly harmless as heights. She was never afraid of anything, not even for her life. He had no doubt that, when the time came to avenge her parents and her friends that had died in the war so far, she would attempt to kill Voldemort or die trying. A woman who was so courageous and intelligent was afraid of heights!?.  
  
"Miss Granger." he started, attempting to sound friendly.  
  
"Just. just shut up, please," she said as she felt her lip quivering. "To you I am nothing more than just a stupid mudblood, right? That's what you wanted to say just a moment ago, mudblood instead of muggleborn." A single tear slid down her cheek, which she tried to ignore desperately  
  
"Miss Granger, do try to be sensible and not overreact. Please?" he said impatiently. He could deal with crying children.a crying woman should not be very different in his opinion.  
  
"Sensible? You want me to be sensible?" she laughed furiously, anger blazing in her amber eyes.  
  
"Yes, sensible. The fact that you are a muggleborn is something that doesn't affect me in the least. I gave up caring about that. a very long time ago, when I learned that wizards with a pureblood obsession are the true evil in this world," he said softly, hearing an echo inside his mind of a cackling laugh from long ago.  
  
Hermione looked into his eyes but she was far too furious to notice the sincerity in them. Besides, she was still shaking too much from the ride to Hogwarts.  
  
"Just go to Hell!" she spat venomously as she turned on her heels and ran towards to castle.  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
Severus had given Caesar to the stable boy and collected Hermione's things out of the saddlebags. Normally he would have cared for the horse himself but he was in too much of a hurry to check on Hermione to do it this time.  
  
When he entered his chambers, he noticed the door to his guestroom was closed.  
  
*At least she doesn't cause any trouble when she's in her room* he thought as he sat down in his chair. However, after a few moments, he started to feel slightly uncomfortable. The walls were quite thick, but not thick enough to keep the sound of her crying from his ears.  
  
He sighed, stood up and started pacing up and down in his sitting room, not knowing what to do. This was Minerva's field of expertise. she knew how to handle and comfort people, not him. But Minerva was not here so he would have to do it himself.  
  
He sighed again and made his decision.  
  
"Miss Granger?" he asked as he knocked on the door.  
  
"Go away!" came a muffled reply.  
  
*This is not going to be easy* he thought as he slowly opened the door. She was lying on the bed, face buried in the pillow and all he could hear were the heartbreaking sobs of someone who had put her emotions away for far too long.  
  
He sat down next to her and stretched his hand to stroke her hair then decided against it. Instead, he flexed his fingers awkwardly.  
  
"This is not about you being afraid of heights is it?" he asked.  
  
She turned around and looked at him with a tear stained face, not knowing whether to send him away or to wrap her arms around him and cry. She hadn't cried for ages, not since Victor had made it quite clear that a secondary place in her life was not good enough for him. She knew she was overreacting but that realization didn't stop the tears from coming..  
  
She'd had too much and kept it to herself for too long. The death of her parents, four years of intensive studying and, as she saw it, her failure in finding the potion that would kill the one responsible for the mess that was called her life.  
  
Perhaps she could have had a normal life, even a family, but traumatic experiences had stopped her from caring too much about anyone.  
  
She had learned, at a very young age, that relatives did not live forever, that friends could be killed and lovers could desert you.  
  
While her friends settled down, started families and tried to be happy, Hermione had her work and pretended to be content.  
  
Here she was at 28, lonely and hiding behind a shield made of intellect, knowledge and a good dose of sarcasm. It helped her to hide away from everyone who tried to hurt her.  
  
Unfortunately it didn't shield her from being hurt by life itself.  
  
Then he had entered her life. was it only yesterday? Presumably to help her with the research she couldn't do alone, but he was doing so much more than that, so much more than she was ready for.  
  
Twice he had made her feel vulnerable.  
  
Twice he had showed her that she wasn't the strong woman she thought herself to be and twice he had done so, without any effort.without even realising that a friend who seemed to understand her and what she was all about, who talked to her on the same level was the last thing she needed right now.  
  
She could not afford to be weak, not now, not with this man.  
  
It was so much easier to stay on the surface, not touching one's feelings, like the way she did with her other friends, but her instincts told her that, with this man, nothing was ever going to be easy.  
  
He wasn't even very friendly but, in a strange way, she felt connected with him, with the bitterness, with his drive to do whatever it was he had to do, and with the loneliness he had spoken about. Even the pain she saw in his eyes was familiar.  
  
They were more alike than she ever thought possible and it frightened her.  
  
Still, she couldn't stop the tears and finally, for the first time in years, Hermione Granger gave in to the woman she was inside and laid her head against his shoulder.  
  
"It's all just. too much." was all she managed to whisper while she felt a hand softly stroke her hair. a little reluctant at first. 


	6. Mixed Emotions

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Huge thanks to Strega Brava and Sez, without whom this chapter would not look half as good as it does now.

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Challenges

Chapter 6 - Mixed Emotions

Usually Hermione was the strong one. She had to be, as Ron and Harry counted on her whenever there was something not going the way it was supposed to go. They asked her for advice, talked to her about the trials and tribulations that formed life, or just leaned on her whenever they felt like it, and she loved it. It was good to be _needed_... she needed to be needed… if only to forget her own misery. 

Several weeks had passed since Hermione had confided in Severus, which was very remarkable to say the least. She wasn't the type to spill her heart out…not to her friends, not to vague acquaintances, and certainly not to a former Professor…

The only person who had understood, but at the same time disputed that, had been her mother, if Hermione closed her eyes, she could still hear Victoria Granger say that real strength was not about keeping everything inside, but in the ability to talk about it, about the things that worried you, made you feel bad or just occupied your mind. She had been gone for five years now, five long years in which Hermione had kept everything to herself simply because there was no one around who dared to probe her feelings hard enough for her to finally give in to them.

Oh, Harry and Ron had tried, and tried very hard at that. But, somewhere down the road, they had given up. Not on her, not on their friendship, but on the sheer impossible task of getting Hermione out of her cocoon, built of work, work, and more work, and get her to live again. 

She refused to believe that even the strongest person sometimes needed a shoulder to cry on. Feelings were something she preferred not to talk about, it made her weak, influenced her decisions and the image other people had of her. Her image was something she had worked for, very long and very hard. 

Obviously, Hermione, being the person she was, wasn't about to give in to the turmoil of emotions that surged through her body and mind. But, much to her own surprise, she had done just that. In the arms of a man who had as much, if not more, trouble talking about his emotions as she had. 

Confiding in Severus had probably not been the wisest thing to do after the mostly confusing and sometimes uncomfortable situations he had put her through. However, the moment he had walked into her room she had been forced to choose between giving in or giving up. Giving up was never an option for Hermione Granger.

What she first saw as a sign of weakness had quickly become a safe haven of comfort when she felt his slender fingers run through her hair and his arm tighten around her waist. Perhaps he did it only to make her feel more comfortable, but there was no trace of his usual demeanour. 

No sneers. No sarcasm. In his eyes she saw a look of understanding. Between heartbreaking sobs, she told him everything that had plagued her mind since her discovery of the ancient scrolls and the realization that she could not do it alone. He had listened when she had told him about life, about loneliness and about not being able to connect to other people while she so desperately needed them every now and then.

Only a little earlier she had been convinced that he hated her with a passion for her muggle blood, her friendship with Harry or just simply because she existed, but she quickly realised that it had never been hate. It wasn't personal. It wasn't a mask to keep people at a distance. It was just the way he was, perhaps the way life had made him, and she, in turn understood and learned that, when it was necessary and only then, he could show friendliness. When she had felt his arm around her waist and heard his soft murmurs in her ear, she knew what she had missed all those years. Someone who could be strong for her and for whom she could be strong, if all else failed.

For Severus it had felt uncomfortable at first. Touching someone was not high on his list of_ "Things I'd like to do."_ He had not been comfortable with physical contact ever since he changed sides in the war. Contact was something that involved emotions and emotions were unpredictable…one could not properly prepare for them, they just happened.

He hated situations he could not prepare for.

Severus looked at his hands, hands he had sworn would never caress anyone ever again. They had caressed the murderess of his two sons as well as fondled his quivering victims, before he had forced his latest potion that needed testing upon them. There was blood on these hands and they would not touch an innocent ever again. 

However, when she had told him about the darkness that surrounded her very soul, he knew she had seen Hell as well… _her parents, his two sons._

But she had not been one of Hell's demons, as he himself had been. He did not deserve to feel the softness of her hair or the velvet touch of her skin. But, instead of backing away when she had rested her head against his shoulder, he had wrapped his free arm around her waist and softly stroked her hair.

She had the scents of summer rain and autumn leaves. She had felt wonderful. But he would rather die than admit that to anyone he thought, while cursing himself as somewhere, down in the pit of his stomach, something stirred that should have been dead and buried a long time ago.

Both were lonely, both had issues from the past that haunted them, and both were in need of a friend they could talk to, without needing to worry if the other really listened and understood or just pretended. In fact, they both needed an equal, and his worst fear was that, perhaps, they now had both found one.

When she had no tears left, she had fallen asleep like that, cuddled up against the man who had once been her professor. One who was trying very hard to remember that this strange, feisty but troubled woman he was holding, had indeed once been his student… a very irritating one at that, a know-it-all and, may the gods help him, a Gryffindor. 

Despite all their differences, they reached a sort of truce that night and it was then that the fragile seeds of a peculiar friendship were planted. Perhaps because they both realized that, in a weak moment, when they allowed themselves to let their guards down, they were really not _that_ different. 

However, it did not stop them from making each other's lives as close to impossible as they could manage. 

******************************************************************************

It was just a normal Friday afternoon somewhere near the end of March when Hermione was sitting behind her desk, grading essays in the lab that Severus and herself used for testing and studying. She looked up as she heard the fast, furious footsteps of the Potions Master approaching, a sound that usually heralded a troublesome afternoon. 

He just had the 4th year combination class, consisting of Gryffindors and Slytherins, for a double Potions lesson and his opinion of his least favourite house had not improved much over the years. As far as Hermione knew, the only Gryffindors he could stand to be in a room with were the headmaster, his deputy-headmistress and, perhaps, herself… and McGonnagal only when necessity called for it. 

Suddenly the doors flew open and a seething Potions Master stormed in, robes billowing behind him. He paced up and down the lab for a minute or two while softly growling something under his breath that she just could not ignore. 

"Stupid…dratted…impossible…horrible…little Gryffindors…"

"Good afternoon to you too, Professor…" Hermione said, raising her eyebrows. She was in a good mood today and would not have it ruined by Severus bashing her house. The house rivalry was not really something that bothered her as she had learned a long time ago that not everyone in Slytherin was necessarily evil, Malfoy Jr. and Severus being the biggest examples of that. However, she knew what was coming and decided that he deserved at least _some_ disagreement. 

He ignored her, sat down in his favourite chair, shooting daggers into the fire with his coal black eyes and slowly flexing his fingers. 

"What have they done today to make your life miserable?" Hermione asked innocently, trying very hard to hide her amusement, which did not work very well judging from the poisonous look Severus shot at her.

"Do not tell me that Severus Snape, Potions Master of this School is having a rough day because a bunch of dunderheads cannot get a simple shrinking potion into their thick skulls," she said sarcastically. 

"That is exactly what I am telling you, Miss Granger, and I advise you not to mock or annoy me today as you might end up on a broomstick, under the influence of that little illegal curse we discussed earlier in our relationship" he growled, glaring at her.

By now she knew that shouting at him would only get her on his bad side and she really needed his input on a part in the Dwarven Handbook he had given her a few weeks ago in the Three Broomsticks. 

She was convinced it would get them that one step closer to the solution of their problem, if they could only get the translation right. Thus far that had been impossible, but perhaps today they would find a clue… So, instead of letting her temper get the better of her, Hermione took a deep breath and counted to ten. When that didn't help she decided to give him what he asked for.

__

More Sarcasm.

"So who is your chosen one to clean out the dungeons with a toothbrush tonight?" She asked sweetly.

"If you insist on knowing, as I am sure you do…Thora McGonnal" he said, still angry.

"Who is she? I never heard her name before," Hermione remarked, only mildly interested. If she would just let him talk, chances were that he would spill it all out, his anger together with the words and perhaps they could get some work done.

"She is a highly intelligent, stubborn, impossibly obnoxious little know-it-all with an explosive temper… not entirely unlike someone else I know…" he sneered slowly but, when he saw Hermione's glare, he quickly continued.

"I believe several people know her as Thora Silveraxe. She refuses to believe that, in Hogwarts, there is only one way to brew a potion, MY way, not hers…" he grumbled.

Hermione had opened her mouth to give a snide comment on his comparison of her with one of his students but closed it again without saying a word. She couldn't believe her ears… Silveraxe was a name she had found in many books concerning the Dwarves in her quest to find a key to their old language. Modern Dwarvish was no problem as it sounded an awful lot like the Scottish muggles spoke around the Glasgow area, but the old Dwarven Language really was problematic…

"Silveraxe you said!? Just exactly how little is this obnoxious little know-it-all? The name sounds awfully…"

"Dwarven…" They said in unison, both suddenly bolting upright and staring each other in the eyes.

"I cannot believe I have not thought of her before!" Severus stated angrily, most of his annoyance directed at himself. He could not believe he had overlooked the most obvious solution to their problem! But then… there had been an awful lot on his mind the last couple of weeks, the young woman standing in front of him, not being the least of them.

"I remember Dumbledore telling me that the girl is, in fact a half-dwarf, raised by her mother who is responsible for the Dwarven half of her parentage. Her father was killed in a nasty episode of the war I won't delve into right now. She uses her father's name to avoid speculation about her mixed lineage. Her Dwarven blood is not too obvious in her…and the Silveraxe family is old, very old Dwarven royalty. There is a fairly good chance that she learned the old language when she was young," Severus thought aloud.

"Why didn't you think of her before?" Hermione asked incredulously. It was not like Severus Snape to just forget an important fact like that. 

He shot a dark look at her.

__

"That is something I wouldn't even tell you on my dying day, Hermione," he thought.

"Because, Miss Granger, she is not in my house so I don't keep an eye on her. Also, Dumbledore has told Minerva and myself very little of her background. What he told us, he told us some four years ago, which I have just told you. She doesn't look Dwarven despite the fact that she is Flitwick-sized and, furthermore, I try not to think of obnoxious Gryffindor students anymore as soon as the last one walks out of my lesson for the day. Not good. I'll admit that much, but, trust me, it is understandable once you consider being in my position," he sneered.

"Really? Not being in your house never stopped you from "keeping an eye" on Harry, Ron and myself some years ago. Sometimes we even thought you could vaporize yourself and reappear somewhere out of thin air again, preferably somewhere where we were making trouble. But I suppose times were different then," she laughed a little sarcastically, but not enough to make it sound unfriendly.

"Times were indeed different then, Miss Granger. The delightful sensation of you three being scared of me, being one of the larger changes" he said, not without humour.

Hermione didn't say anything. It probably wasn't wise to tell Severus that Ron still had nightmares about being caught by him and doing the most unimaginable horrible punishment that only Ron could dream up…

"Tonight, I believe we may have a breakthrough Miss Granger. I believe I know just the way how to punish Miss McGonnal" Severus suddenly stated, a mild smile playing around his lips.

******************************************************************************

Severus had decided over dinner that it was better to go to his private quarters and let Hermione take care of Thora McGonnal, in order not to scare the poor girl out of her wits. Of course it had been Hermione's idea and, at first, he hadn't agreed with it at all. They even had a fight at the Head Table, and to his horror he realised just now that the whole school had probably been watching. He wasn't proud of the things he said, but damn it, that woman was capable of getting the worst out of him. She was certainly stimulating company but that that tongue of hers should definitely be on a leash…that way he could perhaps control his own.

He remembered only too well what had been said. They were seated next to each other and what had started as a whispered suggestion by Hermione had quickly developed in a full-blown fight with a very awkward ending.

"Professor, with all due respect, if you take care of her punishment, you'll scare the poor girl to death. No matter how fluently she speaks ancient Dwarven, she'll make too many mistakes just because she'll be afraid of you breathing down her neck to check on her work. Trust me, as I have been your student, I know how one feels while you slowly slither through the dungeon, waiting on a chance to take points from Gryffindor or make a snide comment about one's sad and wholly unsatisfactory intellect," Hermione said, a little more fiercely than she planned. His blunt refusal of her suggestion before she was even finished speaking had made her more than a bit aggressive.

He was getting irritated, What gave her the right to judge him, or his teaching methods? He worked that way partly because it was the only way he was comfortable with and partly because it was a necessity. She hadn't seen darkness as he did.

"Or has she?" He thought, but as soon as the thought occurred, he pushed it aside, angry now and ready to lash out at the woman who caused his anger.

"That was because every time you opened your pretty little mouth, _Miss_ Granger, you spoiled my plans in class. You and the other two of the inseparable or rather… insufferable trio…"

"Ha! Plans! What plans, other than making sure _everyone _feared and hated you except for some spoiled Slytherin brats!?" She interrupted him furiously, regretting her words the moment she saw cold rage glittering in his eyes.

"Contrary to popular belief, Miss Granger…" Severus whispered dangerously, "I did not want to be hated by _everyone_, as you so kindly put it. Feared _yes_. That is included in my job description as head of Slytherin House and is a rather comfortable sensation if you want to be left alone. However… hatred was, unfortunately, a… necessity and I sincerely hope it got through your thick skull by now, that I do whatever it takes to achieve what is needed. It may not be pleasant, but some things need to be done, and being hated was one of them," he continued venomously.

Hermione shot a poisonous look at him. She was tired of his evasive answers and wanted some real ones, momentarily forgetting that she had no right to anything that could be qualified as an answer to her next question.

"Why do you so insist on being the sorry creature that you are? You could have a life, friends even, but you persistently keep throwing people out of your life and keeping them at a distance. Why!?" She was shouting now but couldn't care less. They were both so absorbed in their argument that they didn't notice the entire faculty had fallen silent and the students in the Great Hall were intently watching them. 

"Because I do not want friends! I want to be left alone! What part of that don't you understand!?" He roared, seething with anger now.

She looked at him. At his eyes, which glittered with anger, the strongest emotion he had ever showed her. At his temples where a vein throbbed noticeably, his strong, aquiline nose which gave his face an almost aristocratic feature, his raven black hair, his tall, proud figure. She was shocked to the core of her being to realize that she found each and every feature attractive and angry because, each and every time she even so much as _suspected_ she was getting closer to the real Severus Snape, he did something to just hurl her out of his life and get her into a fit of rage. The man was simply insufferable.

Well, not this time! She would not let it happen!

She swallowed and looked into his eyes, her anger slowly being replaced by a feeling of discomfort, fear almost. Not for the man who was sitting next to her, but to the slowly reawakening woman inside herself.

"Funny. I remember a man who was there when I needed him. Who held me when I needed to be held and who made me talk, when I didn't want to talk. Who could be silent with me, without making me feel uncomfortable. Perhaps I am wrong, but isn't that what friends do for each other?" she whispered softly, a lot braver than she actually felt inside. 

He looked at her intently. He didn't understand what her game was, but he simply refused to be toyed with. If she wanted to play games with him, well… she'd soon find out that Severus Snape never lost any game… and certainly not from Hermione Granger. She used to irritate him when she was younger because she had the sheer nerve of going against his direct orders on more than one occasion. Unfortunately, she still irritated him regularly, but the reasons had changed as much as the girl from the past had changed into the woman he was very reluctantly beginning to see in a new light. Slowly, his anger ebbed away.

"And I remember a girl I taught once, not so very long ago. I think I called her a little know-it-all as well, who feared me and hated me. She told me so herself, just a few minutes ago. Tell me, Miss Granger, do you think she still fears me, hates me even? She should, you know, for I am a dangerous man, " he murmured in a voice as dark as midnight and as soft and suffocating as a spider's web and she was the fly caught in the middle of it.

She hesitated a moment before answering.

"No, I don't think she ever really hated you," she answered softly, hesitating another moment before making her next statement. "But once, not so very long ago, you used to scare the hell out of her… sometimes you still do, although the reasons are different now…." 

The last few words of her already whispered reply were barely audible, and she was unsure whether he had heard her or not. In a way she hoped not…

Much to her surprise, she saw a small, satisfied smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"I'm glad I left some impression," he stated dryly.

"Oh you did, no doubt about that. But, do tell me, Professor. After all this time, do you still think she is an obnoxious little know-it-all?" 

He laughed hard and she bolted upright, not because she hadn't expected it, which was also true, but because of the pleasant vibrating sound of it.

"No, I think she has grown over her being obnoxious and she is hardly little anymore. But yes, she is still a know-it-all, although I got used to it a little, or rather was forced to get used to it. Now I find her drive to know everything there is to know and research everything she doesn't know yet, very refreshing. Now, Miss Granger, if you'll excuse me, it seems I have to retreat to my private chambers in order to avoid scaring "the hell" out of our dear Miss McGonnal. She's all yours but do try to leave her in one piece."

And, with that last statement, he swooped out of the door, robes billowing behind him, leaving an utterly speechless Hermione behind.

She looked around her and realized that all the teachers had heard their conversation, some of them were grinning a bit and others tried very hard to stare at their plates. She met Dumbledore's glittering eyes for a moment but, before she could say anything to excuse herself from the table, she felt a soft tap at her shoulder. She turned around and looked in the face of Professor Flitwick.

"I think he likes you, my dear," he chirped.

Hermione had to restrain herself in order not to curse the poor man to oblivion. She mumbled some excuse instead and darted furiously out of the door.

__

"How dare he?" were her last thoughts as she stormed to the dungeons to take care of Thora McGonnal…all the while trying very hard not to notice the chuckles that followed her from the Great Hall.

******************************************************************************

Meanwhile in Azkaban, a raven- haired beauty chuckled in her sleep. She was having the dream again, the same dream she'd had for months now. 

After almost 27 years in prison, she would be free soon…very soon…

Her master was near. She could feel it in every bone in her body. Perhaps tonight he would walk into her little prison cell and tell her she would serve in his inner circle again. She was his most trusted minion, his confidant, his lover. Of course she still loved Severus, but there was a certain dark quality in her relationship with her demon lover that Severus just couldn't compete with. In contrast with the Dark Lord, he had never liked her _games_.

A hooded figure glided by, holding still in front of her door for just a slight moment, then it moved on. The Dementors didn't affect her anymore, and she knew that was because her master was near. Soon she would be free. Soon she would have her revenge.

Her darling husband would pay for what had done to her, and after he had paid…

He would learn the true meaning of serving in darkness.

******************************************************************************

Severus was sitting alone in his favourite chair, once again staring into the fire and contemplating life, lost and newly found loved ones. Much to his irritation he had been forced to admit to himself that he had started to care about the Granger girl. 

He was losing his sharpness all because of this…this stupid infatuation… and it was starting to become obvious as well. He could not believe he had overlooked that Dwarf brat. If this was what that stupid friendship thing did to him, he'd rather go without…

For some reason she went right through all his defences regardless of the promises he had made to himself never to care about anyone ever again. Not that it would change anything. One day they would either find the solution of the manuscript or they would give up. Either way, she would go away and he would be able to go back to his solitary life and live happily ever after in his dungeon.

Alone once again.

It was what he deserved after all he had done. How could he ever long for more, ever long for a… friend… a companion even…

Even if she… no…that was utter nonsense…but still… he seriously doubted Hermione was the kind of woman that would allow herself to be shoved aside. He wasn't blind or stupid and had seen the look in her eyes…

But no… 

Severus didn't flatter himself and doubted she was very much attracted to him. But there was one advantage he had over other men who would be far more suitable for her. He was around. 

Also, they seemed to have an understanding of each other, albeit a bit of a turbulent one. 

He sighed and realized that perhaps he would have to be strong for both of them. But her mind, Merlin's teeth, that fabulous mind of hers! Up until a few weeks ago he had never met his equal but, when it came to the power of the mind, she was his equal in every way and that intrigued him more than just a little. 

However there was one big difference, one that would seal their fate forever. She was a beautiful young woman with the world at her feet and he was an old, dark, marked man wallowing in self-pity.

There would never be a place in the life of a young successful witch for a man like that.

Or a friend for that matter but he dismissed the thought as soon as it occurred. 

He had spoken the truth at the Head Table.

He didn't want a friend… and knew that therein lay the danger…

He had to be strong.

He would be strong.

He could be strong.

******************************************************************************

Meanwhile, in the dungeons, Hermione practised her sternest look as she heard a timid knock on the door. She eagerly opened it, curious about this girl who could perhaps solve a problem that two of the greatest minds of this century had not yet been able to solve.

In front of her stood a girl, not taller than four feet, with a freckled face and the ageless features that were so common amongst the Dwarves. She could be 14, 35 or 135. Hermione honestly couldn't tell.

"I'm here to serve my detention, Professor Granger," the girl said softly, trying to hide her pleasant surprise that Hermione had opened the door instead of Professor Snape, who she really did not want to face after the stunt she pulled that afternoon.

__

"Honestly, Thora, telling Professor Snape that your way of preparing a potion works just as well as his was not really a bright idea after he had just put you in your place and deducted 15 points from Gryffindor for slapping a Slytherin in the face," Thora thought to herself. Brilliant. Now she was responsible for losing the house 30 points and got a detention as well to top it off…

"Yes, so I was told" Hermione stated dryly, as if there could be any other reason a Gryffindor student would go anywhere near the dungeons after dinner. "Come in and take a seat in the front row. I'll be with you in a moment," she said, pointing in the direction of the students' desks while picking up the copy she had made of the relevant passage of the book, parchment and a quill.

Thora was quite happy to be given a relatively simple translating job instead of something horrible and nasty like polishing the silver in the prize room, something her temper had gotten her to do before, 16 times to be precise. After Hermione's explanations and confession that she knew about her mixed parentage, it took Thora little more than an hour before she put her quill down, gave it one last check and put it on Hermione's desk.

"Finished already?" Hermione inquired in a friendly tone.

"Yes, it's the only language my grandma speaks. I'm used to it. Of course, she is over 600 years old so I would imagine the language to be a bit…dead around here" she said as she shrugged.

Hermione smiled. This Thora seemed to be a hard worker, just too honest for her own good and with a bit of a temper. Severus' analysis had not entirely been off the mark. She was indeed a bit like she herself had been back when she was a student. Of course that was no good during Potions, where the only one Severus would allow to have a vile temper was himself.

"That will be all, Miss Silveraxe. Do try to be a bit more careful and polite around Professor Snape. Trust me, I have been his student as well, so I know from first hand experience that you have been immensely lucky tonight," she chuckled as she closed the door behind the girl.

__

"Now… Let's see what Thora has made of it…."

******************************************************************************

"Severus, look! She's done it!" Hermione exclaimed, for the moment forgetting all polite titles and niceties while she enthusiastically ran in the door.

Severus closed the thick tome he was reading and stood up, walking towards her in slow steps, using his full height to tower over her.

"Really, Miss Granger. We may live in the same quarters for the moment, but could you please remember that this is a respectable school and that I go by a title I worked very hard for?" He said sternly.

She was not impressed and gave him an irritated look.

"Listen, if you are in _that_ mood again, let me inform you now that I'm not putting up with it. I have a title as well, namely the one of Doctor but that doesn't say anything about who or what I am and neither does your professorship. I respect you for what you are, for the person I know you are. I have a name and I prefer you use it. All my friends do and I insist you do as well!" She said, the fury that she had repressed after dinner suddenly resurfacing in full heat. 

"But we are hardly…friends… Miss Granger," he said ominously.

She looked at him, her amber eyes piercing into his black ones. But, instead of the rage he had expected to see in them as he had seen a moment before, he saw only hurt. 

Suddenly he felt very small.

"Would you care to explain what we are, if we are not friends, Professor?" She asked, with ice-shards in her voice.

He said nothing for a while, took a sip from his whisky and avoided looking into her eyes.

"I… think that is a territory best left unexplored… Hermione. It's safer… for both of us," Severus murmured softly, for the first time in his life, tasting her name on his lips as he put the glass down on a table.

Hermione could only nod, while staring at the flagstone floor. She was trying very hard not to shiver or give in to her emotions. In the past, she used to steel herself during troublesome moments and as it had worked then, she tried it again, but failed miserably.

What was it about this man that one moment she wanted to seriously kill him in the worst possible way and another moment she wanted to… kiss him?

__

"No… surely not, anything but that, Miss Granger?" she thought, but before she thought it over she took one step to close the distance between them and looked at him, her nose almost touching his. Before she knew what she was doing she kissed him softly on the lips.

For the first three seconds he was too stunned to react. Then a wave of passion took him over. Without thinking, he placed his hands on her hips and kissed her savagely, his tongue taking full possession of her mouth. 

She felt his hands kneading her hips and lower back and felt fire explode somewhere down her spine and lower belly. Moaning softly, although not sure whether it was desire or a little fear, she answered his passion without really thinking about what was happening.

It was over as unexpectedly as it had started. He roughly pushed her away and turned his back on her.

"This must never happen again. Do you hear me? Don't _ever_ try this again," he said slowly, anger seething in his voice while he placed his hands on the back of his chair and leaned on it, refusing to look at her.

Shocked wasn't the word to describe the feeling that manifested itself into the core of her being. However she needed to put a name to the mixed feelings of anger, remorse, revulsion, desire and disappointment. Shocked simply came closest to it.

"I am sorry, I…" she was afraid her voice and her courage would fail her miserably so after her first few stammered words she kept her mouth shut and just stood there, wringing her hands and struggling with herself not to flee the room.

He turned around and looked helplessly at her, saw the look on her face, but didn't move to comfort her… that would only make matters worse…

"Hermione… I… It's not you…I…" he tried to explain but, when he saw the hurt expression on her face, words failed him, just as they had failed Hermione.

She sighed, and almost had to laugh about the stupidity of the situation. Refused by Severus Snape, the most unapproachable and most undesirable man the Wizarding World had to offer…to most people anyway, but not to her, no… not to her…

"Severus, stop it. You don't need to make up an excuse. Honestly… I understand… and besides… we have work to do," she said bravely while she shoved the piece of parchment she still clutched in her hands under his nose.

He seriously doubted that she _did_ understand, but left it at that. It was safer for her to think that he didn't want her although she was as far from the truth as she could possibly be. He could never tell her that there were many reasons as to why he could not get involved with her.

The fact that he was married to one of the most ferocious murderers in Azkaban being one of the lesser ones. However, the fact remained that he would be "attached" until death parted Selene from him and that left no room for the one he cared about. 

He refused to make Hermione his _whore_…she deserved more than that…

And she deserved more that being the _wife_ of a murderer, one who would - without doubt - kill again.

Becoming a widower had been his greatest ambition ever since he changed sides, since it seemed the woman was resistant to Dementors, he would have to do it himself and he would, even if it meant a lifelong sentence in Azkaban…

*****************************************************************************

"Gillyweed," Severus suddenly stated.

"Excuse me?" Hermione said tiredly while she looked at him. They had been studying for hours, carefully checking every possibility, but each and every opportunity had led to a dead end, as usual.

"Here it is. Look," he said as she sat down next to her and put the piece of parchment under her nose.

"_The Fae are a highly magical race and, much like dragons, their hair, scales, nails or blood are used only in the highest forms of magic. However, they are strongest when personally given out of own free will for a specific spell, charm or potion,_" Hermione read.

"The mermaid hair," she said breathlessly.

Severus gave her a small smile 

"We have a lake full of Merfolk, Miss Granger. It seems we have to go and politely ask them for some ingredients instead of buying them in Diagon Alley."

******************************************************************************

Minerva McGonnagal had never been in such a rush as she was now. Many students looked very surprised at seeing the tabby cat they knew to be their deputy head-mistress running down the hall which led to the dungeons. 

She stopped in front of the door of the Head of Slytherin House and transformed herself back into her human form.

"Severus! Open the bloody door! It is urgent!" She shouted while nearly knocking down the door.

"Take it easy, Woman. It's not as if the castle is about to be overtaken by a horde of Dementors." came the cranky reply while Severus opened the door. 

"Severus…" she panted, out of breath.

"Yes…?" he asked dryly

"Azkaban…the Dementors… the prisoners!"

A terrible feeling manifested itself in the pit of his stomach

"Dammit, Woman, what are you trying to say!" he shouted.

"Voldemort has taken Azkaban and freed the prisoners. Selene is on her way to the castle!" She finally blurted out.

Severus visibly paled.

"Merlin's teeth…Hermione is outside in the lake, getting some dratted mermaid's hair! Let me through!" he shouted, as he nearly knocked her over.

"Severus! No! You will only make things worse! Hagrid is down there, getting everyone inside. You have to stay inside…orders from Dumbledore. It is you she's after…"

"Me and everyone I care about!" He snarled. "Now let me through!" But Minerva, who was surprisingly strong for her age, didn't plan on letting him go.

"Very well" Severus said and pretended to give up resistance. The moment her grip relaxed he ripped himself loose and transformed into a large black raven, his seldom-used animagus form.

Minerva looked at him while he flew away at the speed of light, cursing herself for not having brought a wand.

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Authors notes:

Pfew! Finally this chapter is done! 

I know I made many of you wait forever for this chapter… I hope you're still hanging in and enjoying it! It is just that Real Life keeps acting up and I'm sorry but I'm enjoying it too much to let it pass by. :-D 

I'm sure many of you agree…

The next chapter will also take quite a while I think, but I (roughly) know where this story is going and I promise I will get there, I just hope you will be there with me… :-D

Also thank you so much for all the kind reviews, I know I hardly ever get back to people who review but it isn't less appreciated, actually it is a bit overwhelming, I love it!!


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